well, i am no longer a cutter and i am no longer anorexic, sometimes a little bullemic, but thats only when there is a party or performance for me to go to ya kno? well im in love.....once again but now its really complicatedd
now i have a really close friend..who i think could be my boyfriend if i wanted the extra responsibility and commitment. but ya kno, i have enough going on without all of that so ya!! since me and mr.go down have been broken up. um i think i have had a couple of boy toys a couple of boyfriends and stuff like that.
about them. nothing really memorable ya kno? well i went out with this boy who like to beat girls....he never really beat me, like he would hit me every now and then but never really BEAT.
nevertheless thats how he was. then there were the brothers who i went out with. OH MY GOD. they were the cutiest little boys that i have even done in my life. then there was the one who looked like chris brown, the one who thought he was chris brown, lol, and now my quisee bear, who im with now
the thing about him is that like, every since ive been talkin to him, ive been getting into more trouble than i can remember ever being in in like my entire life time but watevez.
i know that i dont love him. but i think this is because i dont really feel loved by him. i sometimes feel like guys just go out with me to say that they went out with mikayla j. which is kinda a big deal [in case you folks didnt know]. then sometimes it feels like guys go out with me because of my body and my attitude towards the world. but what ppl fail to understand, is that my attitude towards the world isnt the same as the attitude towards my parents...
the relationship that i have with the world is sorta just a fuck off attitude. the attitude i have with my parents is not that at all. i appreciate my parents because they not only deal with my attitudes and conceitedness but they also take care of me and make sure that i get what i need and most of the time, what i want. thats that. so when guys go out with me and expect me to like sneek out and betray my parents so that they can get what they want, i look at them like they are stupid and get on with my life, without them-because i dont need someone who is willing to let me get in trouble so they can fuck, or watever they think is going to happen but yea......
now im with quisee, gettin in trouble, and i am really trying not to get drug into it but its kinda hard because i go to an all girls school, hes like a boyfriend and i like him and he likes me and its attention that i think i deserve ya kno? so thats whats up with him and that.
so lets talk about sports. i do track, gymnastics, volleyball, waterpolo, swimming, diving, dance, adn many more sports. i love sports. except track i really thought that i liked track until i did it, shit that is the hottest sport ive ever played like in my life. but you know. watevez, its fun now that its over!!!
the rest of everything else is good. i think. anyquestions for me please ask and post and give me posts to read...
unti next time!!!
_xoxo
mizzmikayla
